Rated R for Rut Roh

Coming out of the gate hot!

Black Holes

This is scientifically accurate.

Troubleshooter

Creating problems in order to charge for solving those problems. Profit!

Let's Take This Offline

No witnesses, rookies.

Apologies

If you are always right there is nothing to regret.

Coincidence

Or a timeline shift. Definitely could have been a timeline shift.

Mirrors

Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the coolest alien of all?

Time

Just because something is real doesn't mean I have to believe in it.

Don't Push It

This will definitely help some of you.

Skinny Jeans

Squeezing your junk.

Football

Know the difference.

For Future Reference

Helping you get ahead at work.

Stuck

Always wait for the program to respond.

Dog Love

The meat probably doesn't hurt either.

Your Phone Knows

I also know.

Memories

Still better than cable 99% of the time.

A Compliment

Making up for the first one with something nice.

Jogging

Run, Mammal. Run!

Action Items

I should note that posture is important.

Dangerous Jokes

It's always the last person you would want who laughs.

Control

Your dog measures how long you have been away by the degradation of your smell in the environment.

Corporeal Eclipse

Fancy name for a shadow?

Upgrading Your Branding

You can keep calling yourself "human if you want.