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Terms & Conditions

Last Updated: 6/10/2025

 

Welcome to AbeTheAlien.com — the official outpost of the intergalactic puppet life form known as Abe the Alien. This website is a creative hub for fans, followers, and curious Earthlings who wish to explore the wild universe of our adult puppet show. By accessing or using this website, you agree to the following Terms and Conditions ("Terms"). If you're not on board with these terms, please beam yourself elsewhere.

 

 

1. Site Purpose & Limitations

This website exists to:

  • Showcase the creative work behind Abe the Alien

  • Promote live appearances and shows

  • Share multimedia content and behind-the-scenes extras

  • Accept booking inquiries (but not bribes from Martians)

This site does not process ticket sales. Tickets for live events are managed by third-party vendors or the venue itself. Any disputes or refunds relating to ticket purchases must be addressed directly with the seller.

 

 

2. Intellectual Property

Everything on this site—unless otherwise noted—is the property of Abe The Alien Productions and protected under United States and international copyright, trademark, and other intellectual property laws. That includes, but is not limited to:

  • The name "Abe the Alien"

  • Logo(s), poster art, promotional graphics

  • Puppet designs and character likenesses

  • Video and audio content

  • Written content and scripts

  • Catchphrases, taglines, and cosmic nonsense

Don't be a space thief. You may not copy, reproduce, modify, upload, post, transmit, or distribute any material from this site without explicit written permission from us. Abe bites.

 

 

3. User Conduct

You agree to use AbeTheAlien.com only for lawful, respectful purposes. You may not:

  • Attempt to hack, corrupt, or reverse-engineer the site (Abe's watching 👽)

  • Post or transmit any offensive, defamatory, or harmful material

  • Misrepresent your identity or impersonate Abe (there is only one Abe—he's hard enough to manage as it is)

  • Use the site for commercial exploitation or spam

If you cross the line, we reserve the right to restrict or terminate your access faster than Abe can say "Galactic probation."

 

 

4. Third-Party Links & Events

We may occasionally link to external sites (ticketing vendors, event listings, YouTube, etc.). We don't control them, can't guarantee their accuracy or safety, and aren't liable for anything that happens on those sites. Your dealings with third parties are between you and the third party—even if Abe referred you.

 

 

5. No Warranties

We provide AbeTheAlien.com on an “as-is” and “as-available” basis. That means:

  • No promises that the site will always be up, error-free, or compatible with your 90s-era laptop

  • No warranties regarding the accuracy or completeness of the content (Abe’s intergalactic facts are loosely fact-checked)

Use the site at your own risk. We are not liable for damages, losses, or alien abductions resulting from your use of the site.

 

 

6. Privacy

Your privacy matters to us. Our Privacy Policy explains how we handle your data, especially if you send in a booking request or subscribe to updates. We won’t sell your info to alien marketers or spam you with junk.

 

 

7. Changes to the Terms

We may update these Terms at any time without prior notice. If we do, the revised version will be posted here with the new effective date. It's on you to check back occasionally to see if anything has changed (or if Abe has staged a coup and rewritten the terms in binary).

 

 

8. Contact Us

Have a question, complaint, or cosmic compliment? Reach out at [email link] and someone from Earth will get back to you. Probably.

 

 

9. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of Ohio, without regard to its conflict of law provisions. Any disputes will be resolved in the courts located in Columbus, Ohio. Abe has diplomatic immunity, but you don’t.

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Thanks for visiting AbeTheAlien.com. Now get out there and enjoy the weirdness.

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